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101 Short Jokes Anyone Can Think

For when y'all need the laughs to come fast.

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Ha! ha! ha! ha! rd.com

Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no ane wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, specially if it's one of the funniest jokes of all fourth dimension. Sometimes you need to get a quick laugh on demand and what better way to practise it than with 1 of these brusk jokes? You can pull these out of your dorsum pocket when you lot're in need of something funny on the fly along with the funniest i-liners, some "what practise you call?" jokes, and even something to go the small folks giggling with these short jokes for kids.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What's the best thing virtually Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a large plus.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

I invented a new discussion!

Plagiarism!

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Did you hear near the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why do nosotros tell actors to "break a leg?"

Because every play has a bandage. Here are some dark jokes to check out if you take a morbid sense of sense of humor.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

"Exit of here!" shouts the bartender. "Nosotros don't serve your type."

RELATED:Bar Jokes

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the route. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving niggling messages around the firm. Don't miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?
Control Freak.
Con…
OK, now you say, "Control Freak who?"

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Hear about the new restaurant chosen Karma?

There'southward no carte du jour: Y'all get what you deserve.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

A adult female in labor all of a sudden shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

RELATED:Dad Jokes

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

A behave walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and … cola."

"Why the big suspension?" asks the bartender. The behave shrugged. "I'one thousand non sure; I was built-in with them."

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Did y'all hear about the actor who savage through the floorboards?

He was just going through a phase.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Did you hear near the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make upward everything.

RELATED: Biology Jokes

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

RELATED: Mom Jokes

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What sits at the lesser of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

RELATED: Limericks for Kids

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business organization!

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How does Moses make tea?

He brews.

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why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why tin can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always accept things literally.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How practise y'all keep a bagel from getting away?

Put lox on it.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

A homo tells his doctor, "Doc, assistance me. I'thousand addicted to Twitter!"

The doctor replies, "Lamentable, I don't follow yous …"

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What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties?

Considering you should never beverage and derive.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.

RELATED: Work-from-Home Jokes

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?

The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What's the dissimilar between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a suspension at the end of a clause. Don't forget to bookmark these other "what's the difference between" jokes that will scissure you up.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

It's ii gross.

RELATED:St. Patrick's Day Jokes

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

"Curses! Foil again!"

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

Thanks— I'll never part with information technology!

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Brand me one with everything.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the left middle say to the correct eye?

Between yous and me, something smells.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you telephone call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How do you brand a tissue trip the light fantastic toe?

Put a fiddling boogie in it.

RELATED:Dentist Jokes

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Prissy belt!

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What exercise you call a pony with a cough?

A little equus caballus.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did 1 hat say to the other?

You wait here. I'll go on a head. If yous loved this, yous'll become a kick out of these domestic dog puns.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do yous telephone call a magic domestic dog?

A labracadabrador.

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What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish. This tastes a little funny. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

This tastes a little funny.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What's orangish and sounds similar a carrot?

A parrot.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why can't yous hear a pterodactyl go to the bath?

Because the "P" is silent.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What practise you call a woman with 1 leg?

Eileen.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the pirate say when he turned eighty?

Aye matey.

RELATED:Funny Tweets

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His machine got toad abroad.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the buffalo say when his son left for higher?

Bison.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What is an astronaut's favorite role on a computer?

The infinite bar.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the yogurt get to the art exhibition?

Because it was cultured.

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Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code.

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why did the hipster burn his mouth Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the hipster burn down his mouth?

He drank the coffee before it was cool.

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once my dog ate all the scrabble tiles. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.

He kept leaving picayune messages around the house.

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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows likewise high.

She looked at me surprised.

RELATED:Funny Relatable Tweets

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Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Did you hear almost the two people who stole a calendar?

They each got vi months.

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What's Forest Gump's password? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What's Forest Gump's password?

1Forest1.

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Where does Batman go to the bathroom? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Where does Batman go to the bathroom?

The batroom.

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Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because he lost his filling.

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What do you get from a pampered cow? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What practice you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

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Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why is information technology abrasive to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

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What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What breed of dog tin spring college than buildings?

Any dog, because buildings can't jump.

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How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How many times can yous subtract x from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

RELATED:Funniest Twitter Accounts

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Why did the M&M go to school? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the M&Thousand go to schoolhouse?

It wanted to be a Smartie.

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Why do bees have sticky hair? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why do bees have viscid hair?

Because they use honeycombs.

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How does a rabbi make his coffee? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How does a rabbi make his java?

Hebrews it.

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I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

I got my girl a refrigerator for her birthday.

I can't await to run across her face light up when she opens it.

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I poured root beer in a square glass. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I just take beer.

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Why aren't koalas actual bears? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why aren't koalas bodily bears?

They don't meet the koalafications.

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Rest in peace to boiling water. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Residual in peace to boiling water.

You will be mist.

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What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

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Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the nurse need a red pen at piece of work?

In case she needed to depict blood.

RELATED:Funny Parenting Tweets

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How do you throw a space party? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How do you throw a space party?

Yous planet.

RELATED:Space Puns

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The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.

21.

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Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did information technology get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?

All of the fans left.

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What do you call a train carrying bubblegum? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What practise you telephone call a railroad train conveying bubblegum?

A chew-chew train.

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Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor?

It needed help figuring out its issues.

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why can't male ants sink? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why can't male ants sink?

They're beacon-ant.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Desire to hear a structure joke?

Oh never mind, I'thousand still working on that one.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Talk is inexpensive?

Take y'all ever talked to a lawyer?

RELATED:Constitute Puns

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Why did the gym shut downwardly?

It simply didn't work out!

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Two artists had an art contest.

It ended in a draw!

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.

I lost my example.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

I have a fearfulness of speed bumps.

But I am slowly getting over it.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Where exercise you detect a cow with no legs?

Correct where you left it.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

What did ane traffic light say to the other?

Stop looking! I'm irresolute!

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

What type of sandals do frogs vesture?

Open-toad!

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because vii ate ix.

RELATED:Love Riddles

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

What exercise you phone call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick!

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in information technology?

Envelope.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Why doesn't the sun go to college?

Because information technology has a million degrees!

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

How do you count cows?

With a cowculator.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Why are skeletons and then at-home?

Because nil gets under their skin.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Why is England the wettest land?

Because and so many kings and queens accept been reigning there.

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Short joke rd.com

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It'due south okay. He woke up.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

What are shark's two almost favorite words?

Man overboard!

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Tin February march?

No, but April may.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Where does the sheep get his pilus cutting?

The baa baa store!

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because they are piece of cake to run across through.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Why does Humpty Dumpty love fall?

Considering Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Where practise fish sleep?

In the riverbed.

RELATED: Fish Puns

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

How do trees go online?

They just log on!

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

What do y'all phone call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy deport.

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101 Short Jokes rd.com

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted. Now that you lot've learned 101 new brusk jokes to share with your friends, cheque out these classic Laffy Taffy jokes that will sweeten everyone's day.

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Source: https://www.rd.com/list/short-jokes/