Javascript required
Skip to content Skip to sidebar Skip to footer
Home / How Have You Been Say Something Funny

How Have You Been Say Something Funny

Fix to leave the seriousness and stress of the day backside you for a little chip? These funny things to say will do the trick!

Whether you're looking for a few funny things to say that have some adult-rated humor or you're seeking giggle-inducing one-liners to share with kids, this list of 100 hilarious things to say will have you and your loved ones laughing out loud in no time.

From funny things to say to a crowd to funny things to say to your coworkers, we rounded upwards the all-time LOL-worthy sayings all in one spot. So read on and share your favorites with your friends—or anyone really! Later on all, who couldn't utilize a trivial more than laughter in their mean solar day?

Funny Things to Say

i. I'm so glad nosotros accept brownish cows, otherwise there wouldn't be whatsoever chocolate milk.

ii. nine out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm crazy. The 10th is just humming.

three. After Tuesday, even the agenda says WTF.

4. You lot should always knock before opening a fridge, just in case there'southward a salad dressing inside.

5. A successful human being is one who earns more his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who knows where to look for such a human.

six. A pessimist is someone who has spent also much time listening to optimists.

7. Don't y'all detest information technology when someone answers their own questions? I do.

eight. My tallest finger loves giving people standing ovations.

9. Every adult female should marry an archaeologist, because the older she gets, the more he'll love her.

10. 6:thirty is the all-time time on a clock, hands down.

11. I used to think I was indecisive. But now I'm non so sure.

12. A bag of money tin represent not merely wealth, but also massive inflation.

13. It'southward funny how the toll of living is going up but the risk of living is going down.

fourteen. Try calling someone just to tell them you can't talk right at present.

15. I am a great housekeeper. Every fourth dimension I get out a man, I go on his house.

16. Is there a connexion betwixt processed corn and corn nuts?

17. I can tell when people are being judgmental but by looking at them.

18. The next time you buy a donut, complain that in that location's a pigsty in it.

19. A cookie a 24-hour interval keeps your sadness abroad, simply an entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

20. I'm not going to remarry. This time, I'm just going to choice a woman I don't like and requite her a house instead.

21. If hamburger meat makes a meatloaf, then laziness volition brand me-a-loaf.

22. I had used upward all of my sick exit, and then I called in dead.

23. I am going to get my toe smash-pierced this Friday.

24. I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first ane abandoned me, but the second did non.

25. I've always idea air was costless. That is, I did until I went out and bought a $three bag of crisps.

26. Don't worry if plan A fails. In that location are 25 more than messages in the alphabet!

27. An apple a day keeps the physician away…if you throw it hard enough!

28. Organized people are those who are just too lazy to find their things.

29. How-do-you-do, I am (your name), just y'all tin call me tomorrow!

30. A psychiatrist is someone who will charge you coin for answers that yous tin get for free from your wife or friends.

31. If a market is well stocked, is it chosen the stock market place?

32. World is like the insane asylum for the universe.

33. Sure, alcohol doesn't solve any problems. But then again, neither does milk.

34. Barbie is so popular and nevertheless, kids still buy friends for her.

35. If you lend someone money and never see them again, information technology was probably worth every penny.

36. Refusing to get to the gym is one of the best forms of resistance training.

37. I don't suffer from insanity—I enjoy every infinitesimal of information technology.

38. Always remember that you're unique…only like everyone else is.

39. Running in place will become you nowhere fast.

40. I'thou reading a book about anti-gravity. It'southward impossible to put down.

41. The rotation of Globe actually makes my day.

42. Whatever is eating you must exist really hungry.

43. LOL has gone from meaning "express joy out loud" to "I have nada else to say."

44. I promise to step on your feet if you dance with me.

45. I know they say that money talks, merely all mine says is 'Bye.'

46. I am on a seafood nutrition. I see nutrient, and I swallow it.

47. Is cardboard more board than carte or more card than board?

48. A best friend is someone who clears your search history immediately afterward yous dice.

49. I don't have an attitude problem. You accept a perception problem.

50. Except for a parking meter, change is inevitable.

51. Is a heart set on the same as an attack of the heart?

52. We place too much emphasis on the early on bird's good luck and non plenty on the early worm's bad luck.

53. I sold my vacuum cleaner because all it was doing was gathering grit.

54. I don't really need a hairstylist since my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

55. I tried rearranging the alphabet, but for some reason, the messages U and I would never separate.

56. Communist jokes aren't funny unless anybody gets them.

57. If y'all think no one cares whether you're alive or dead, just skip a handful of credit card payments.

58. Why aren't coffees served on a coffee table?

59. I would really like to help y'all out today. Which style did yous come in?

lx. I have make clean conscience. I haven't used it one time,

61. Whiteboards really are remarkable.

62. Whoever said you can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop!

63. When you lot go to a public bathroom, put chocolate on your hands, reach under the stall and inquire for a toilet newspaper.

64. Answers are what we have to solve other people's issues.

65. Can cars finish at a bus stop?

66. If yous really want to look immature and sparse then you lot should hang out around fat old people.

67. A balanced nutrition simply means a having cupcake in each mitt.

68. Try ordering a pizza 15 minutes before New year, and when it arrives, yell, "You're belatedly! I ordered this a year ago!"

69. I don't sympathise how people can be so open-minded. Whenever I try, my brain keeps falling out.

70. The only matter I go out of Algebra is when I look at 10 and wonder Y.

71. How can y'all scoot forth if y'all don't take a scooter?

72. I'll accept a bloody mary because they say it helps cure hangovers.

73. It's difficult to do cypher because you never know when you're washed.

74. Spousal relationship has no guarantees. If that's exactly what you are looking for, become alive with a auto battery.

75. Just take my advice considering I'm not going to utilize it.

76. Dogs tin can't see inside your body, just CAT scan.

77. What is the soul adept for if laughter is good for the soul?

78. If history repeats itself, I'thou getting a pet dinosaur.

79. Don't drink and drive. You lot might spill your beer.

fourscore. You're in the wrong lane when everything is coming at you.

81. If y'all are on a diet, the start 3 letters of that word are probably feeling pretty authentic right now.

82. When someone tells you lot, "Take a dainty day!", stare at them and say, "Don't tell me what to do!"

83. You are so abrasive. Yous are so weird. Yous are so crazy. You are and then stupid. Y'all are then clingy. You are…just similar me.

84. I'm out of my mind. I'll exist back in five minutes.

85. Alcohol and Calculus don't mix. It's never a expert thought to drink and derive.

86. Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times, I let my wife slumber.

87. If I tried to look as attractive as all of the celebrities I like, I'd end upward looking almost as ugly equally I am.

88. If we were on a plane about to crash and merely had one parachute, I promise I'd give an astonishing speech at your funeral.

89. I am not every bit retrieve as y'all dislocated I am really!

90. Try calling Pizza Hut just to ask Domino'southward phone number.

91. Isn't it foreign that cigarettes are sold in gas stations, since smoking is prohibited at that place?

92. Why is there a lite seedling in the refrigerator if you're not supposed to eat at night?

93. Here I am! What are your other two wishes?

94. Delight excuse my naivety. I was built-in at a very early historic period.

95. If your friends don't make fun of you, they're not really your friends.

96. If a motion picture is worth a thousand words, what is a mural worth?

97. I'd exist happy to give you a shoulder to cry on, except I don't desire my shoulder to get wet.

98. There are three different types of people. Those who tin can count, and those who tin't.

99. Try texting someone a random word and see what happens next.

100. It was equally easy equally a walk in the park…Jurassic Park.

Bank check out…
250 Funny Questions to Ask
400 Fun Questions to Inquire
101 Funny Quotes
101 Clean Jokes
200 Sarcastic Quotes

carr-boydwidat1944.blogspot.com

Source: https://parade.com/1219273/marynliles/funny-things-to-say/